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Thursday, June 10, 2010

The Karate Kid Boycott

This is no longer a movie blog...... This is now the headquarters of the "Karate Kid Boycott." As many people know I am a huge Karate Kid fan I even named my kids Johnny, Bobby, Freddy, and Daniel. But this Karate Kid remake..... WHY???????

Boycotts seem to be the norm these days, most of them I don't get, for example we buy lots of shit from China, and China is known to be one of the worst human rights abusers on the planet, but do people boycott China, no they boycott Arizona for practicing state sovereign democracy. Well my Boycott involves boycotting China so you should join too.

Here are my reasons for the boycott.
1. Karate Kid does not need a remake it's awesome as it is, the sequals really werent that great anyways, well 3 was pretty good.
2. China, I have stated this in earlier post, but one of the attractions of the original is it's setting in California, as a kid it seemed like a really cool place with beach parties and cool Okinawan dudes. I have been to China and although I did like the people, they were not cool, and their beaches don't allow you to see the sun. China was a nice place to visit, but to live, fuck no. You can watch the origianl and actually think wow, besides those dicky Kobra Kais California looks like a cool place to live.
3. The kid is 10. I see the commercials of this 10 year old throwing Jackie Chan around, it reminded me of that Seinfeld episode wher Kramer beats up all the kids in his Karate class, but touts that they are all the same level and I realized Seinfeld was real and this new movie was not. This is also not to mention what 10 year old has a serious problem with bullying? I mean I know it happens, but how serious. Daniel in the original is a teenager, I think every teenage boy can recognize with Daniel's situation at one time or another. Overall the kid in the Karate kid is actually a kid, not a young man as Daniel was.
4. Jackie Chan, I like Jackie Chan, but he is no fucking Miyagi, nobody knew who the hell Pat Morita was till Miyagi, thats what everyone liked about him, I am still amazed that the accent is fake.
5. China...again. The movie is about an American family living in China (I think). I am sure many people can recognize moving to a new area or a new state, but really how many people move from the US to China, I know it's probably in the thousands but out of 300 million people, thats nothing. One of the greats of the original is recognizing how the new kid feels at a different school and place. Ok they do that in this new Karate Kid but to the fucking extreme in a new country, making the whole premise of the new kid as foreign as fucking China is.
6. China again, by supporting this new Karate Kid you will be supporting the Chinese who will take your money and shoot some political dissident in the head with it, they also support North Korea so you will be helping Kim Jung Il form more concentration camps.
7. Its not even Karate its Kung Fu in this one, they should change the name to the Kung Fu kid and I will end my botcott
8. Everyone knows black kids from Detroit would kick the hell out of a bunch of liite Chinese kids any day of the week
9. No cameo of Ralph Macchio (so I have heard)
10. If you don't support this boycott then your Racist


  1. I am with you Robert, I am going to let hollywood, China, and most importantly Barack Obama what I really think of the Karate Kid, fuck this liberal conspiracy

  2. the Karate Kid boycott has my support, I agree with you 100% and don't you forget it

  3. This is by far the greatest blog I have ever seen. Mr Stokes please run for president next year.

  4. This blog is run by one crazy son of a bitch! Is that his mug shot? I wonder how many times he's been in prison for slappin' his hoes. What a loser.

  5. Whatever. Chinese people don't vote for their policies, unlike the Arizonans.

  6. Wow, I have never seen a blog so dedicated to the art of bullshit it is unbeleivable.